I would consider myself an atheist and have for about the last fifteen years. I was raised in a very, very relaxed Catholic household, went through the whole first communion and whatnot, but never really found a need for religion. Then, I became older and realized that perhaps I didn't have to fake the fact that I am not spiritual. I don't know if there was one defining moment when I said "Hey, I don't believe in God" or if it was more of a gradual agreement, but I was affirmed in my decision.
Recently I have started questioning myself. Presently, I still consider myself an atheist, and quite frankly, I don't know if that is going to change. Though, I think being so stubborn in believing the absurdity of a God, that I too, am just as close-minded as the people who may have driven me to oppose religion in the first place.
So, I have decided that maybe it's time to educate myself about some other options. Why the sudden change? Well, first off, why not? Okay, so maybe that sounds like a little bit of a cop-out, but really, the worst this can do is increase my knowledge about some other options. Maybe, it has something to do with me getting older or more mature, blah, blah, I'd really like to think that's not the case. I guess I really can't explain it, but I invite you along for the ride.
So, here's what I'm planning. I'd like to read the Bible. Or is it bible? I admittedly have a very minute understanding about Christianity. Anyway, I went to my bookshelf and in between some books about your inner chakras and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was a Bible. No idea how that got there, but it was there. I furiously flipped open to the first page and started reading.
Crap. I had no idea what was going on. Can't I at least get a character reference or something? I decided to do some research first. Apparently, there are multiple versions. Who knew?
This was a about a week ago. Today, I found myself in Borders (I had a 50% off coupon!) staring at the shelves in the "Religion" section. I was very determined to find "The Journey: The Study Bible for Spiritual Seekers :NIV". Apparently, Borders does not advertise that some books are only available online. So, there I was in the aisle with about a couple hundred books in front of me and no idea what I was doing.
Thankfully, I had done some research and knew that I wanted the New International Version. The one I had at home was the King James Version, which I hear is pretty widely accepted, but I wanted something else to compare and contrast. From my understanding the NIV is also a bit more user-friendly for beginners, and according to Wikipedia (yes, I am actually sourcing Wikipedia) the main disagreement is that "the NIV [is] accused of "weakening" the message found in the KJV". Maybe that's not such a bad thing for me. Honestly, I think the main reason I was so resistant to religion in the first place was the list of "rules". Maybe the "sugar-coated version", as my old co-worker put it, wasn't a bad idea.
Anyway, I'm in the store with no idea which to choose. Frustrated, I called a friend who I've told repeatedly that I do not want help, for fear of being swayed one way or another. Of course, when he tells me there's really nothing he can do to help, I only become more agitated. This causes me to throw myself onto the floor and start piling books around me like a little fort. I am now a two year old in the middle of a tantrum.
After about an hour of shifting through different versions, and debating hardcover v. leather v. leatherette (seriously, what is leatherette?) v. paperback , large print v. thinline, full size v. travel size, I had narrowed my options down to two: "NIV: Women of Faith Study Bible" and "Quest Study Bible". I began thumbing through each one trying to get a feel for the style. The first was pretty: all lilac and womanly. The font inside was big enough to read comfortably but the pages seemed really thin; I was straining my eyes after only a couple minutes because I was able to see right through them. It also had stories and notes in the margins on how to be a good Christian wife and mother. While, this may be helpful for some, I am very much single and without children, so it terrified me quite a bit. We had found a winner!
My artillery:
New International Version
Quest Study Bible
"The Question and Answer Bible"
King James Version
Holy Bible
and a pretty journal I received last Christmas from my parents (for notes, questions, et cetera while reading)
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